speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Sext me about skeletons
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
