I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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