I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
