You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
