How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize