How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
