Will you blow on my dice?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
