In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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