i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
OPIZZABONMYDICK
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
