Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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