dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
