better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
