Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
