woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
