soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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