thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
