Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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