She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
