I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Enjoy the penises
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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