none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I have peed in a lot of sinks
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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