it wasn't lemon gatorade
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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