Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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