I'm eating all of the evidence.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
