I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
