I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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