Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
