why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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