I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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