apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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