ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I am spending my child support on dildos
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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