woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
