When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
