dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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