Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
