I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.