Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
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i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
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I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.