Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.