i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs