I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
