Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
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you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
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It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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