I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize