So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
