Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
