there was a trapeze. enough said
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
