I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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