I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
