i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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