I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
