Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize