He is such a slut. More and more my type.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
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thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
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im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.