The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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