? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
im drinking this country out of the recession.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
