its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
