my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
