it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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