I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
