my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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