Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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