Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize