ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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