My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize