You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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