I'm lost and stupid without you.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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